dear Rachel,
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Storytime! When I was in my 20s, I went through a period of absolute numbness. Most noticeably, my libido disappeared. I didn't want anything, I didn't remember what it felt like to want something. I missed feeling alive, and I didn't know how to get it back. I was especially alarmed at the evaporation of my sex drive, which before had been the drive of a healthy young person. It was just...gone. One day I shared this with a friend, and she expressed a similar experience. She said she just felt...switched off. "I know!" I said, "Let's write a letter to our vaginas!" Yes, that's right. Stay with me, that's not even the good part. So we did. We read them out loud to each other, it was hilarious and also a little heartbreaking. Lots of "why have you abandoned me?" and "you used to be loud and now you never say anything!" Then I had another idea..."what if our vaginas wrote us back?" My friend said, "...what?" I said, "let's just try it." So we did. Y'all, it was SHOCKING. My pen wrote furiously, it could barely keep up with the stream of words that I had suddenly tapped into. I had NO idea that these words and feelings were even in me. With a slight change in focus and perspective, suddenly I realized I had all the information I needed, I had just been all up in my head, running on a hamster wheel. It wasn't until I turned my focus to my body that I found all the insight I was looking for. I don't remember exactly what was written, but it had CONVICTION. Something about "you ignore me for months and now you complain that I'm quiet, also wtf was up with that douchebag you let touch me that was nasty his fingernails were too long..." etc. I was delighted at this newfound well of information, and set to following the demands that had been listed in the letter. Over the next few weeks, the rift healed. I felt like myself again. I felt like I could access my sense of aliveness again. The body knows SO MUCH. I'm not sure the wider scientific community would call this exercise "somatics" but I definitely do. This is what we're tapping into tomorrow, for Overcoming the Imposter: Somatic Witchcraft for Artists. We're going live at 12pm EST tomorrow for one hour. The cost to enroll is $20, up until the live recording ends. After that, the recording can be purchased for the regular price of $47.
If you didn't like that I used the word vagina and you want to unsubscribe, that's probably for the best. Vagina, vagina, vagina. It will happen again. Cheers, to your aliveness, and don't go back to sleep. xoRachel |