[Desire] Welcome to Day 2

Good morning and happy...Saturday? Sunday? Who cares.

Welcome to Day 2! We're gonna get downright disgusting today. It's gonna be awesome.

The audio is below- you can download it, adjust the speed, whatever you like. For those who would prefer to read a summarized transcript, you'll find that at the bottom of this email.

Listening time: 9:17

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• Desire Day 2 Audio: {link here}
• Transcript: below

Assignment:

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Intentionally recall the somatic experience of Desire you found yesterday, into your meatsuit. Then get a piece of paper (or use a voice note) to record a list of desires. No matter how petty, selfish, greedy, slutty, indulgent, or downright destructive they might be. Write or record until you run out of steam. If the timer goes off and you still have more to say, ignore the stupid timer.

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Enjoy the pulse, and-

Don't go back to sleep.
xoRachel

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Transcript of Day 2:

Day 2 — Want What You Want

Welcome to Day Two of Desire.

Yesterday, I asked you to remember a time when you wanted something very clearly—and to notice what that felt like in your body. If that was difficult, don’t give yourself a hard time. This is exactly the muscle we’re rebuilding. Some people feel it right away; for others, it takes a little longer. Sometimes it’s already there and just needed permission to be acknowledged again.

Which brings us to today.

I have an invitation for you that is, frankly, extremely irresponsible.

I recommend doing this exercise alone—not because you have to, but because solitude often makes it easier to be unabashed. That said, if you work better body-doubling with someone you trust, do that. This is your barbecue. I’m just cooking.

Today’s task begins by returning to the somatic sensation of desire you identified yesterday. Sit down with a notebook, a scrap of paper, or the Notes app on your phone. Recall that feeling of desire into your body. See if you can conjure it in the moment. Let yourself embody it.

Then set a timer for ten minutes.

While staying in that embodied state, make a list of anything and everything you desire.

Before you start, here is your unbridled permission slip:

Do not be nice.
Do not be reasonable.
Do not be noble.

By the time you’re done, this list should read like a greatest hits album of the greediest, pettiest, sluttiest, gluttonous, most selfish desires imaginable. Do not worry about being a positive force in the world right now. We can worry about that later. For now, just write what you want—no matter how outrageous, lusty, greedy, embarrassing, or unreasonable it may be.

This list is for you. You can title it. You can keep it secret. You can password-protect it. You can revisit it anytime you feel disconnected from desire. It becomes especially fun if you keep adding to it.

At first, some of these desires may feel mortifying. Eventually, they stop being embarrassing and start being joyful—because you’re practicing the radical act of letting yourself want what you want, regardless of whether you’ll get it or act on it.

Here are a few examples to loosen you up:

I want a dozen shirtless bodybuilders to rip up my ugly lawn and replace it with clover while I sit in the shade drinking margaritas.
I want a secret city apartment stocked with my favorite food, where no cell phones work and I can disappear to read.
I want to be hand-fed crème brûlée by a beautiful woman every day.
I want to fly business class or first class only—and never pay for it myself.
I want every man who has wronged me or my friends to issue a public apology.
I want to write a bestselling novel and sell it to a movie studio for five million dollars.
I want enough passive income to never check price tags and to make anonymous gifts to friends and charities.
I want a boutique health service that draws my blood every morning and delivers exactly what my body needs that day—plus a personal chef.
I want thunderous applause when I walk on stage.
I want to be left alone for an entire month, with no one missing me.
I want my ex to deliver an omelet to my front door every morning without ever seeing me.

You get the idea.

If your ten-minute timer goes off and you still have steam, ignore it and keep going. Right now, we’re simply practicing permission—wanting unapologetically and delighting in your capacity to desire.

You may notice that some of your desires accidentally benefit other people. That’s fine. Let it be whatever it is.

Outrageous desires are why we have things like the internet, maternity leave, and microwaves. Let yourself be feral.

An addendum:
​ If this exercise feels hard—if you can’t come up with more than a handful of desires—remember this quote from Kasia Urbaniak: Every complaint hides a desire.

If and only if you’re stuck, write a list of complaints instead. We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.

For now, enjoy frolicking in the muck and filth of your lusty, unreasonable incarnate being.

See you tomorrow.

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