I don't need gravity

I want to let you in on something I desperately wish someone had told me when I was at the beginning of my career.

It's going to change. It should. The things you want now, you likely won't want them forever. Either because you did them already, or because they quietly slunk away due to misuse.

I did not know this. I had an idea for how my career was supposed to look, and any aberration from that ideal seemed like a personal indignity. In retrospect, every single bit of it was necessary.

This dressing room at Bohemian Carnival with The Vau de Vire Society was necessary:

This backstage photo at Little Minskys, for a duo burlesque act I made with Kristina Nekyia to "Papa Loves Mambo" was entirely necessary, and I think you'll agree:

Creating a whole ass troupe, website and all, with two other women in Seattle to market to casinos doing lip synch choreography to pop songs was necessary:

This one-off gig for Freaknight which I prepared for for MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS for $300 was necessary:

Carnevolar: The Haunting- the first show I was empowered to design, cast, curate, and direct for Emerald City Trapeze was necessary (thank you Homie):

This 3 woman show I made with Natural Wings in Perth, WA was absolutely essential:

This is .05% of what I could show you. If I ever want to send this email, I need to stop looking up old pictures. Not all of my career opportunities were glamorous, or well paid, or paid at all.

I was often fiercely loved. I was sometimes treated poorly. Some of them were transcendent. Some of them gave me friends for the rest of my life. Some of them I resented, and only valued after they were over. Many of them people judged as silly, or shook their heads wondering when I was going to "get over" this. I was too doing busy doing exactly what I wanted. I had better things to do than fix someone else's perception of me or how I fit into their lives, or the world. So do you.

I've put on my makeup and warmed up in palatial backstages, on TV show sets, commercial sets at Universal Studios, in freezing cold liquor cabinets, on tour buses, luxurious guest rooms, a dungeon, a graveyard, a barn, restaurant offices, and many kitchens. I've been paid nothing for weeks of work. I've been paid $3,000 for one five minute routine. All have been necessary. All have made me the creature that I am.

I wanted to write this email because people write me with their hearts half broken, thinking it's too late- they missed their chance, or that it won't look the way they hope it will. One things for sure and certain, you won't know how it looks, so there's no need to judge what you're doing now as inadequate in the path forward, because it is ALL the path forward.

I can also tell you that it will be so much better than you could know now, because it will belong to you. So will you. You already do.

Your creative force led by your desire will morph and change, shrink, expand. It will seem at times that it has died, and abandoned you. It hasn't, but it does have seasons. The Muse is a living, breathing force and she needs to be allowed to evolve. If you keep trying to squeeze her into a very particular box, she won't thank you for that. I'll borrow the words of poet Iniko from their piece Jericho:

The most important thing you can do is begin. You probably aleady have. Then, start fucking things up and making a big ole mess. You don't ever "make it", because there's always another 2 inches to grow into. Ask me again in 30 more years, but that's my official stance at 42.

The window isn't between the ages of 18-27. I didn't even start until I was 25. It has never stopped.

And I can tell you that the method has been the same in every. Single. Incarnation of my career. It's the same method that works at every stage of career development, from fledgling to master. Identify the next two inches. Get your shit together. Talk to people. Ask for things. Fail. Succeed. It's always the same. It's the same system I've used myself for 18 years, and it's the same system I teach in The Audacity Project.

The doors close tonight, at 11:59pm EST.

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Whatever you do, do something. The Muse won't wait for you forever, she will change. But if you want what you want right now, it is not too late. You didn't miss anything. You're still alive. Whether you use TAP or go it on your own, just begin.

Promise me.

You're already at the table.

Don't go back to sleep.

xoRachel