[Desire] Welcome to Day 4

I hope you are ready for Day 4 because it is my FAVORITE DAY!

Today we dive joyfully into the fetid and swirling saltwater hot tub of anger, and all of the treasures waiting for you there. If you're feeling like ugh, I'd rather not- thanks very much, I take you so gently by the hands to tell you this: your anger is because of your love. You will find things in the audio today that will make your anger both easier to carry and joyful to own.

You'll find the audio below, and there's a transcript at the bottom of this email for anyone who prefers to read rather than listen.

Listening time: 11:48 (or speed it up if you prefer, it's your BBQ)

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• Desire Day 4 Audio: {link here}
• Transcript: below

Assignment:

Identify something you feel either annoyed, angry, or enraged about. I don't expect this to be much of a challenge, amiright? Recall the somatic experience of your embodied desire. Use that as a dowsing rod to locate the desire, the love, the value, inside of the anger.

Want to tell me what you found? I'd love to know, I read every response. But whatever you do, please record it somehow for yourself.

Follow the pulse, and-

Don't go back to sleep.
xoRachel

And in case you missed them:

1. ​Day 1​
2. ​Day 2​
3. ​Day 3​

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Transcript of Day 4:

Day 4 — Rage Becomes Her

Welcome back to Desire.
Today is Day Four, otherwise known as: rage becomes her.

I already know that many of you do not want to do this. You were promised something fun. You want to feel good. You do not want to work with anger.

I get it.

Anger is exhausting. It can feel impotent. We’re taught to suppress it at all costs—and then criticized for feeling it “incorrectly.” This is certainly easy to see with those socialized female, but it is true across genders; plenty of people, regardless of how they were socialized, have learned to swallow their anger.

But there’s a reason this day is here. And there’s a reason it comes after we’ve spent time reconnecting with desire.

Here’s my working theory:
We get angry when we perceive a violation of our value system.

I think of anger as having three primary levels of intensity.

The first is annoyance. Annoyance protects the value of comfort. When you’re annoyed, your body is pointing you toward a more supportive, nourishing environment—one where you can do your best work and be your best self. Comfort is not a dirty word.

The second level is anger. This protects the value of autonomy. When your autonomy is threatened or violated, anger arises. Anger directs you toward opportunities to be heard, respected, and to exercise sovereignty over your life. This is not a flaw—it’s information.

The third level is rage. Rage protects the value of justice.

Rage opens the imagination to worlds that do not yet exist but absolutely could. Rage is a loving response to injustice. It is only possible because you care. A person who is enraged is, by definition, not apathetic.

There are two important things I want to name here.

First: anger—in all three of its forms—is an intensely loving emotion.
Annoyance reflects self-love and the desire for nourishment.
Anger reflects love of autonomy and dignity.
Rage reflects love of justice and collective care.

Second: anger, like desire, is generative—but unlike desire, it is also draining. Desire compels us forward; anger often uses up our emotional resources and leaves us depleted rather than enlivened.

My hope today is not just that you see the wisdom in your anger, but that you learn how to transmute it—into something that gives you energy instead of taking it.

Up to now, we’ve been moving through desire—learning how it feels, how to access it, how to give ourselves permission to want. This matters not just for your own pleasure, but for the world.

I want you to imagine the best person you know—not the loudest or the shiniest, but the most deeply good. Now imagine a world in which they were allowed to make the rules, and got what they truly desired.

What would that world look like?

Now imagine your world—one shaped by your desire. I’m guessing people would be fed, supported, respected. I’m guessing there would be pleasure for yourself and care and support for others.

This is why I care so much about you knowing your own desire. I want to live in that world with you. I know it would be good.

Today’s Practice:

Identify something you feel angry about.
It might be annoyance. It might be full-body rage. Don’t force it—just locate what’s already there.

Notice how it feels in your body.

Now, intentionally recall the somatic sensation of desire you’ve been working with all week—the warmth, the vibration, the tingling, the pulse. Bring it online on purpose.

Using that sensation, search inside your anger.
Look for the desire hidden inside it.
Look for the love underneath it.

You’ll know when you’ve found it. Your body will tell you. The sensation may intensify, pulse, or settle into a calm certainty.

That’s it. You’ve just located the desire behind your anger.

When I do this, something remarkable happens. Instead of feeling wrung out by anger, I feel oriented. I have something to move toward, rather than just something to fight against.

When you find your desire, write it down. If you want, tell a trusted person—or hit reply and tell me. I’d genuinely love to know.

Optional: Clearing Residual Anger

Anger carries kinetic energy, and sometimes there’s residue left in the body. If that’s true for you, here are a few ways to move it through:

• Place your open palms on the earth and imagine sending the excess into the soil. She can handle it. She’s very good at this.
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• Scream—preferably somewhere safe, like a car or into a pillow.
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• Put on an 80s power ballad and dance like a bastard.
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• My personal favorite: go somewhere private and beat a pillow or mattress with open palms while yelling. It works shockingly fast.
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You’ve heard this advice before—but how often do we actually do it?

Take what you need. Leave the rest.

That’s Day Four.

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